i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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