I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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