I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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