you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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