do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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