I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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