it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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