Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
