One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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