Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
