If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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