do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
