It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
