Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
