Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
