Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
