if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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