my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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