So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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