sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
