just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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