We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
