Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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