Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
