You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
