you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize