you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
