3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
