Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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