fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
