you guys were way drunker than both of me
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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