Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
