dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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