She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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