Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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