Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize