are you still at the devil's house?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
