Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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