i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
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