new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
