toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
my sisters under your porch take her home
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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