Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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