I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
