it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he puts the penis in happiness.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
