Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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