Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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