It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
