just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
There's always time for handjobs
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
