Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
