I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
