This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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