I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
