Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
