But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
