I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
