i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
