Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
