Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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