i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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